The Great Wall


The Joxer Film Review of The Great Wall..

Starring Matt Damon,Jing Tian,Pedro Pascal and Willem Defoe and directed by Zhang Yimou..

A brief summary of the story,William Garin and Pero Tovar [Damon and Pascal] are European mercenaries in China in search of “black powder” but find themselves attacked by mysterious monsters  and seeking refuge beyond The Great Wall where they learn that the reason the Great Wall has been built is to keep these monsters [which appear every 60 years] away from the Capital City and taking over the world..

Garin shows the Nameless Order led by Commader Lin [Tian] that he is quite nifty with a bow and arrow and so becomes a helping hand whilst Pero and Sir Ballard [Defoe],who has been there as a prisoner for 25 years,try to steal the supply of black powder and sneak out with it undercover of the night whilst the monsters attack the wall..will it all end in tears?

This is one of those films where you need to leave any sort of reasoning at the popcorn kiosk,it is Big,Bold and Brilliantly Bonkers.With a budget of £135m everything but the kitchen sink is thrown into this film.Massive monsters,cheesy one-liners and Matt Damon changing accents by the second [until he decides that the best accent is Matt Damon’s],this is a film that plays it all for fun and succeeds at every level.

The Scenery is big and grandiose,the colours are vivid and the action scenes come out you with such verocity that you are checking yourself for lance wounds every 5 minutes.Think Crouching Tiger meets Independence Day and you kind of get where this film is heading.

Pedro Pascal gets all the best lines and plays it with such deadpan humour that he almost steals the show,whilst Tian as Commander Lin shows that the Chinese women are not to be messed with but Matt Damon’s accent changes are something to be heard.They change mid-sentence at range from Scottish to anywhere in North America.

The laughs are quite genuine for the film is a tour-de-farce of utter sillyness from beginning to end which will keep everyone thoroughly entertained throughout.I came out with the silliest grin on my face afterwards and so did everyone else.It almost becomes a camp classic but just about holds it together enough..

A must see for anyone who just wants one and half hours of a bonkers bit of entertainment that will put a smile on your face and does everything it says on the tin..

As Pete would say “an enjoyable bit of froth..”

watch it on the biggest screen possible and in 3D for the full whack!

Joxer Film Rating



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