Transformers: The Last Knight


Directed by Michael Bay and starring Mark Wahlberg,Anthony Hopkins and Laura Haddock as the humans and with Peter Cullen,John Goodman and Erik Aadahl as the main autobot voices, Transformers: The Last Knight bursts forth onto the screen with all guns blazing,or in this case..all swords flying around in Dark Ages England.

Starting off in England circa the year 400 AD,we see a battle scene with King Arthur with his knights of the round table fighting off evil villains in a field whilst the rather drunken Merlin heads off for help from his secret friends in the hills that just happen to be Autobots,so begins a 1600 year old alliance between English nobility and the autobots,which sees Anthony Hopkins as the 12th Earl in charge of keeping the secret society of autobots in the shadows,only the true descendant of Merlin will be able to control the staff of Merlin and save the planet which just happens to be on the verge of imminent doom that only the Daily Express could have as a headline.Can Mark Wahlberg,reprising his role as Cade Yeager and Viviene Wembly [Haddock] who just happens to be English and into the legend of King Arthur save the Day from the evil Descepticons and the end of the world..

This,being the 5th installment in the franchise,left me taking my seat with dread and fear that everything that is wrong with the series was going to repeat itself once again.HOWEVER,panic not,for the film is not as bad as I thought it would be.

Yes,we get the usual stuff,the whizzbang,twirlywurly camera angles and the usual Bayhem that you would expect from a Michael Bay movie but this time there is humour involved,thanks mainly to the slightly pyschotic Autobot butler Cogman,voiced by Jim Carter and Sir Edmund Burton,played to the hilt with tongue buried completely into his cheek by Anthony Hopkins and the pair of them ham it up to full deli counter mode whenever they get the was actually this comedy relief that kept the film from being totally mundane and formulaic and the usual Bay rubbish..

The action scenes,though totally predictable with the slow-mo camera angles and the crash,crash,boom of all other Bayhem films are fairly enjoyable but there is only so many times you see someone spinning in the air in slow-mo before boredom does kick in and trust me,it happens often in this film..

The most annoying things with this film are what always annoy me with Michael Bay films and that is the continuity of the scenes.One second we have a car chase through the streets of Oxford,England and the next second it’s transfered to London,England,Or we have a submarine going down the Thames only to have it in the Dover Straits a second later with the white cliffs behind it.Which brings me on to Stonehenge..

Not since Stanstead Airport had snowy mountain peaks in London Has Fallen have I seen something look so out of place as Stonehenge in this film.It literally is just a bunch of rocks in a field in a middle of nowhere and has shrunk to a fraction of it’s actual size with the A303 road that runs along side totally gone.The only way to get to Stonehenge in Bayland is by army helicopter,an American army one as well by the way.

Every time I thought this film couldn’t get any more ridiculous it did.The film itself is basically The Da Vinci Code meets King Arthur with robots as a Death Star hurtles towards earth and it got more ludicrous by the second.At times I had my head in my hands in utter disbelief at it all and then gradually developing a kind of hysterical giggle as the madness just took hold.I need a lie down in a dark corner of the room now..

It is,however,the best King Arthur film I have seen so far this year [take note Guy Ritchie!] and left us leaving the film at the end laughing at it’s utter stupidity and total nonsense.

It is too long though,2 and half hours is still too long for a Bayhem movie although it’s half hour shorter than the last one [I am trying to find good points to this] but it still felt as if it was on for at least 4 hours and for a film I’ve now seen 5 times under 5 different film titles [it’s still the same film as the first one] I’ve kind of had enough of them now.I don’t wan’t another Transformers film,the world has suffered enough now..

Joxer Film Rating

a boomboombanging



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